The language we choose to make our conversations, to argue, and to ask questions, creates the reality we live in. The way we use language together can simultaneously open some possibilities while limiting others. As we bring attention and curiosity to the ways we resist speaking and the ways we rely on, we can challenge assumptions we hold about who is allowed to influence meaning and who must refrain, towards creating more mutually satisfying, collaborative worlds together.

I work from a collaborative-dialogic practice (collaborative therapy), Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy (SERT), and non-violent communication to bring granular focus to our shared use of language and to interpret the socio-emotional context (or power dynamics) which shape the way we participate in making meaning.

By improving the way couples build realities together, these approaches to therapeutic dialogue can bring tangible transformation to relationships and powerful change in your conversations.

You may find more thorough answers to questions linked HERE under “I Have a Friend Who is an Amazing Listener. Why Would I Talk With You?” and, “What Does Non-Interventive Mean/What Does Non-Pathologizing Mean and Why Do You Work From That Stance?”

Grief is about who we are*. It’s the experience of losing a part of ourselves or of losing an opportunity to become who we thought we might be. This may be through the loss of a relationship or the loss of a personal or professional role. It may be through the loss of our hopes and expectations, or the non-existence or loss of basic human rights. As grief separates us from our sense of self, it can simultaneously separate us from one another. However, there is rich information in being with grief, and in being among others who are also with their grief. Most of us are not necessarily conditioned to be with grief in ritual, embodied ways, so we generally turn away from the possibilities and gifts of grieving.

Couples have a unique opportunity to hold grief and support one another, gleaning the gifts of grief together.

*(shirley shani ben zvi, personal communication, fall 2023)

Betrayal, in any form, can feel confounding, disorienting, and wounding. Betrayal can also point towards undefined, unspoken, or unmet needs. Maybe your experience of betrayal is pulling you deeper into your relationship, hoping to heal and grow in new directions together. Maybe it’s pulling you towards separation or divorce. Maybe you want to understand how you, your partner, or your relationship got to this place but are uncertain about much else.

Contending with betrayal as a couple is courageous. Doing so in a respectful, compassionate therapeutic relationship can help hold the sense of anxiety and shame while making space for new ways of understanding yourselves and one another.

As with our use of language, our bodies are also meaning-making systems. Sexual expression is a practice of erotic communication for shifting power, experiencing pleasure, and reshaping embodied connection.

I am kink- and BDSM- allied, I work with unwanted (sometimes referred to as porn or sex “addiction,” or “out-of-control sexual behaviors”), and I facilitate open dialogue with medical providers and partners for common, but uncomfortable conditions like vaginismus and erectile dysfunction.